Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Review: Sam Cruz's Infallible Guide to Getting Girls by Tellulah Darling

Sam Cruz's Infallible Guide to Getting Girls

Expected Publication Date:  October 17, 2012 by Ta Da Media
Source:  Publisher/Netgalley

Mature YA
Why the hell can’t chicks be more like guys?

That question plagues high school senior Sam Cruz. Sam is perfectly happy being a player. He just wishes girls wouldn’t change the game from sex to relationships. It makes him look like an asshole. But when Sam’s best friend, Ally Klinger, gets dumped, she begs him to transform her into someone who can screw around then screw off. No risk of heartbreak that way. It’s Sam’s chance to create the perfect female AND cheer up his best friend. Armed with Sam’s Three Step Guide to Backseat Success, Ally gets the game better than Sam thought she would and before long, Sam has his wish: the female version of himself. Too bad it’s driving him nuts. Told from Sam’s and Ally's alternating POVs, Sam Cruz’s Infallible Guide to Getting Girls is a fast-paced romantic comedy that follows these teens as they navigate the minefield of sex, love, and friendship. 

This book contains strong language, drinking, euphemisms, and lots of “bow chicka wow wow.”

My Thoughts:  OMG, I have to say I loved this book.  It is hilarious.  Sam Cruz is a player.  He lives and plays by "The Rules," aka "Sam's Infallible Guide."  Sam is hot, and he knows it, and he is looking for nothing more than quick lay.  Ally Klinger  is a brain and a bit of a nerd, quite a bit lacking in the fashion and looks department, but she's got a great personality.  Sam and Ally are best friends, and have been since they were little kids.  They  click, fitting together like peanut butter and jelly, and can practically finish each others sentences.  When these two get together, it's a hoot.  

When Ally gets dumped by her nerdy boyfriend Jeremy, she ends up asking Sam to help make her into a female version of himself.  Sam eventually agrees to help make her into what he thinks is the "perfect female."  He teaches her "all the tricks of the trade, the ins and outs (pun intended), of what it takes to be a player.  Ally gets a makeover, and as it turns out, she is absolutely beautiful.  When she starts getting all the guys attention, and learns how to put what she's learned into practice, Sam isn't so sure he likes this after all.....a little jealous maybe......or has Sam created a monster, or better yet, a female he can't tame.  Sam and Ally's friendship takes a somewhat different turn, and Sam isn't sure he wants to go down this road, especially when Ally starts acting like him, with him, and their friendship is put to the test.    

This is a quick, fast-paced read, and I absolutely loved it.  It is funny, super sexy, and completely entertaining.  Ally is hilarious.  I really loved her character.  I loved Sam to.  He and Ally's relationship is great.  Their dialogues are witty and they are so funny together, talking about anything and everything, and most of the time making jokes about it that only the two of them truly get.  They have very blunt discussions about sex, and their is quite a bit of foul language and jokes, so be prepared.  These two don't make the best choices, and when they are faced with what's been right in front of them the whole time, they have to make a decision that will effect their relationship forever.  I loved this romantic comedy.  I had so many laugh out loud moments my husband thought I was crazy.  There were also some sweet tender moments mixed it.  If you don't mind the language and sex jokes, you'll love it.  If you do mind, then this book is probably not be for you.  

Excerpt:  "Oh my god!"  I wail.  "I've got a vullet!" ..."A what," he asks.  "A vullet.  A vaginal mullet.  Party in the back, business in the front."  "No.  Don't want that visual."  He hurries away, me following hot on his heels.  "You have to help me."  "Waaay beyond the bounds of friendship, Brain."  "Shut up.  Do I need a Brazilian? "  "That's between you and your lady parts."  "But you've seen more of them than I have.  What's normal?" ........ Because if it's going to save me from full frontal humiliation, then I guess I'll get one.  But I'd rather my garden of delights not look like a smooth kiddie playground.".....Sam scowls at me.  "Then role play.  Jailbait and the pedo.  "So inapprorpiate."  I head back to the living room, Sam keeping pace.  "But forcing me up against you..." he waggles his fingers, "is cool?"  Yes, Obi Wan.  If you're going to help a girl out, then you need to man up and tell me if I need to wax."  You don't need to wax."  He puts on a yokel accent.  "Cause them there boys at the gator rasslin farm, love themselves a good ole vullet."  "I hate you."  "Course if you do wax," he says, "and you ever forget your ID, you can just let them count the rings on your vagina.  Like a tree.""    

  About:  Tellulah Darling                                   noun
  1. YA novelist
  2. Alter ego of professional screenwriter and instructor Deborah Peraya
  3. Sassy minx
  4. Geeks out over: cool tech.
  5. Squees for: great storytelling.
  6. Delights in: fabulous conversation.
  7. Writes about: where love meets comedy, flavored with pop culture. Awkwardness ensues.
  8. In the geek vs nerd breakdown, I fall on the geek side of things. I think nerds are slightly smarter but I have better social skills. Plus I know my library card number by heart. Although not sure where that takes the argument.
  9. When not zoning out – I mean writing, I make it up to my family for the lack of attention by showering them with chocolate chip cookies. And dancing in my kitchen. Tap shoes optional. Again, not sure where that takes the argument.


  1. This sounds so good! Definitely want to read it!

    1. It is really funny. Thanks for stopping by.

  2. OMG! I must read this! I'm adding it to my tbr right now. Awesome review, Ellen!

    1. It is so funny. I think you'll like it.

  3. OMG! Debbie @I Heart YA Books recommended this to me and when I saw the summary I requested it on NetGalley right away. I hope to squeeze it in this month. Not much offends me and I love this kind of humor. Great to hear another great blogger likes this!

    1. It is hilarious. I'll be anxious to hear how you like it.

  4. This sounds like such a fun read! I'm a sucker for books like these.

    - Ellie @ The Selkie Reads Stories

    1. I am a sucker for these kinds of books to. It is a really fun read. Thanks for stopping by.


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